I am a type 6 on the enneagram scale- a Loyal Skeptic.
I think this typing is just about as accurate as could be for me.
I am a control freak.
I really struggle with change and the unknown. The fact that I took the leap to give God a chance is a miracle on its own. Of course once I did, He has more than proven Himself to me.
Yet… I still struggle to trust Him at times. In my heart, I want to be a “Mary.”
I know He is good and is for me and loves me and, and, and. But, I sometimes take the reigns back from Him on accident or on purpose. It’s like I have soul amnesia and forget who He is and Whose I am.
Don’t I suppose that the God who literally laid it all down and paid the highest price possible to buy me back from sin would then take His responsibility for me seriously? Don’t I know He would never lead me astray or not provide for me? Can’t I just take a chill pill knowing I’m adopted into the family of God and made a co-heir with Christ, having access to every good gift and thing I’d ever need to lead the life (my best life) God has set for me? Why must I constantly work like a “Martha”?!
(Luke 10:42, Eph 1:3-8, Heb 13:20-21, 2 Pet 1:3-4, 1 Cor 6:19-20, Is 46:3-4, Prov 31:25)
It’s like subconsciously I somehow think this or that is too much and I don’t put the full trust in Him that He is asking for and that I so want to give Him.
Do you do the same?
Last night I got the opportunity to speak at our church youth group, Refuge. I spoke about Living Chosen, knowing that as an adopted son or daughter of God that we were literally picked out and chosen just as an earthly parent would choose an adopted child. We are SO special to God! After all He has done for us, surely we can trust Him… with it ALL!
Surely, we can know He has the plan and that we don’t need to know it ahead of time ourselves if we just commit to follow and obey it/Him.
What freedom there is in letting go of that control and recklessly abandoning ourselves in trust to Him!
Today I want to encourage you to do just that. Search your heart. Allow Him to search your heart as David did. (Ps 139:23-24) Then give those things to Him that you’ve been holding onto or not giving Him complete access to in order to change or strengthen you concerning them. Trust Him and enjoy the freedom that comes with that trust and relationship. You don’t need to earn it or worry about any of it yourself. You can literally give it to Him and let Him bear the burden of it while you relax and follow. I know for some (myself) this is easier said than done, but it is truly SO worth it! It’s life changing!!!
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